Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Overwhelmed

Jack woke up at 2:45 am with raspy breathing and a barky cough.  Sitting outside calmed it down, consulting Dr. Google at 3 am.  The most likely diagnosis...

the dreaded croup.

*sigh*  We did RSV with both boys a year ago last April and it's no fun.

A call to the doctor's office and a last minute appointment, I feel better.

And then we got to sit in the waiting room for over an hour {we just switched doctors and I was there 1/2 hour early to fill out all the paperwork}.  So by the time we saw the doctor, it was an hour past our appointment time.  Of course I braved it with both boys and didn't try to find a baby-sitter for Joel...I was fine at the doctor's office.  I was patient, I spoke calmly, I was firm, but kind.   I was fine during lunch {where I took the boys out because it was already 12:45pm} but on the way back to the vehicle when nobody could see, I wanted to lose it.  My patience was being tried, and I was tired of it.  On the 20 minute drive home, I heard my voice getting sharper and harsher.  I didn't want to be patient.  I was done.  But that's the lie.  I was choosing to lose my patience.  I was choosing to be good when people were watching and choosing to be sharp when the eyes were no longer on me.  And this verse popped into my head.

"Be completely humble and gentle, dealing with
one another in love."
Ephesians 4:2

I can be gentle with others, but with my family, I let myself turn into somebody I don't want to be.  Character is what you do when nobody is watching.  What kind of character do I want to have?


1 comment:

  1. yikes! i had croup SO many times as a child! my mom would have me sit in the bathroom with the shower on as hot as it would go so i could breathe in the steam. hope he is feeling better!

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